A Knight's Promise
by purplehairedwonder
Summary: A series of one-shots. After Turn 6, Nunnally confronts Suzaku about the voice that called her name. He makes her a promise, but after Turn 18, realizes he won't be able to fulfill it. But the events of Turn 21 give both Suzaku and Lelouch new courage.
1. A Knight's Promise

**Author's Note:** Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone after R2 episode 6.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Code Geass.

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A Knight's Promise

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Suzaku placed Nunnally's wheelchair down on the palace lawn and allowed the imperial retainers to come greet their new Governor. He watched through the eyes of his Lancelot as his childhood friend was escorted away from him and couldn't help but feel like he was losing another one. Suzaku sighed and ran his fingers through his hair distractedly.

Lelouch had acted like he didn't know Nunnally when they had spoken on the phone, and if there was one thing Suzaku could trust about his old friend, it was that he would never straight-out lie to his sister. That should have been enough evidence to clear the supposedly amnesiac prince from suspicion of his memories having returned, but Suzaku wasn't satisfied. The current Zero was _too_ authentic to be anyone else but the original. And the fact that the Black Knights had attempted to kidnap Nunnally when there had been no announcement about the identity of the new Governor… It was too much of a coincidence that Lelouch had only just spoken to Nunnally on the phone the day before.

The Knight of Seven frowned. He could have sworn he had heard someone yell out Nunnally's name while they had fled the crashing ship… And it had sounded an awful lot like Lelouch's voice. Zero had been flying through the air only to be rescued by Kallen, but it hadn't sounded like the arrogant rebel. No, it had been a desperate cry; like that of a brother being separated from his sister. Could he have been imagining it? Suzaku had to admit he was practically obsessed with the idea of Lelouch having regained his memories. He needed closure and an amnesiac Lelouch couldn't give that to him.

Could that need be affecting his senses? No, he had definitely heard something. And of the people present that would have known Nunnally's name, none of them should have been worried about her position in Suzaku's hands. The only conclusion that made sense was that it had been Lelouch to cry out. It had to have been. Suzaku knew that voice too well to be fooled.

But had Nunnally heard it? And if so, had she recognized her brother's voice? Undoubtedly she would have. Those two were closer than normal siblings, after all.

"Lord Kururugi?"

Suzaku blinked at the sound of Cecil's voice in his communicator. He had almost forgotten he was still sitting in the Lancelot on the palace's grounds. Not that anyone would dare challenge a member of the Knight of the Rounds, but Suzaku still felt a little foolish for zoning out.

"Yes, Cecil-san?"

"Has Governor Nunnally made it to the palace?"

"Yes. She arrived safely."

"Then disembark. We will arrive at the palace in a few hours."

"Understood."

"And… Suzaku?" Cecil began hesitantly.

"Cecil-san?"

"Ah, it's nothing," she trailed off.

Suzaku smiled to himself, realizing what she was getting at. "I'll take care of her."

"Right."

The link was closed and Suzaku sighed. He slumped in the pilot's seat for a moment before opening the hatch and exiting his Knightmare with the propeller rope. Several attendants had been standing around, apparently waiting to see if the Knight of Seven would also be entering the palace. They rushed up to Suzaku but he waved them off.

"I'm fine," he said simply.

"Then we shall take you to your room, My Lord."

Suzaku nodded and silently followed the servants through the palace grounds. His thoughts drifted back to the yell he had heard. _Lelouch, was that you? Or am I going crazy?_

--

Suzaku sat at the window in the room he had been assigned to during his stay at the Governor's palace. He had showered and changed his clothes from his pilot's suit, though didn't feel any better; any cleaner. The garb of the Knight of Seven was laid out on his bed but Suzaku had instead opted for something simpler and more casual: slacks and a t-shirt. He knew he didn't look impressive, but at that moment, he didn't really care. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts for awhile.

Lloyd and the others wouldn't be arriving for awhile and they planned to spend the night in the palace anyway. He would see them in the morning to deal with business. For a short time, Suzaku didn't have any duties to see to, and he took advantage of the small peace. It wasn't often that the Knight of Seven was able to just be Kururugi Suzaku.

The sun was setting and the sky was colored blood-red over the Eleven—no, Japanese—land.

_The battle colored the sky red this day_, he thought off-handedly.

A timid knock sounded at the door and Suzaku blinked. "Enter," he called, unsure of who might be attending him now. The door opened to admit the last person he had expected but the first he needed to see: Nunnally. She wheeled in hesitantly and Suzaku immediately rose to his feet, even though she couldn't see the action.

"Suzaku-san," she said quietly, "I hope I'm not bothering you."

Suzaku blinked. "Never, Nunnally. You could never bother me."

"I'm glad," the young Governor said with a small smile.

In the twilight that was lazily drifting through the open window, Nunnally looked so frail. Suzaku felt a protective jolt in his chest as he looked at her. In the last year, he had done all he could to make sure she was looked after. She had missed her brother terribly, but Suzaku hadn't been able to bring himself to share the truth of Lelouch's absence to her.

Lelouch wasn't trustworthy enough to look after Nunnally anyway. He had allowed V.V. to kidnap her, after all, because he was leading his doomed Black Rebellion. No, anyone who acted as Lelouch had did not deserve a wonderful sister like Nunnally. Instead, he had merely told her that Lelouch had gone missing in the aftermath of the Black Rebellion and was likely hiding out.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently. "I know it's been a hard day…"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm fine." She smiled. "Thank you for protecting me today, Suzaku-san."

"Ah, not at all. I only wish I could have been there sooner." Suzaku watched Nunnally carefully. There was definitely something on her mind, but he wouldn't push her.

"Suzaku-san," she said after a silent moment in which she seemed to be gathering her thoughts, "has something happened between you and my brother?"

Suzaku felt the breath catch in his throat. Where had this come from? A dozen half-truths and white lies floated through his mind before he discarded them out of hand. He couldn't bear the thought of lying to Nunnally… not again. He cared about her too much.

"What are you talking about?" he asked carefully instead.

Lelouch's younger sister swallowed. "Suzaku-san, please… don't lie to me." Her voice was small, as if afraid of saying the words.

Suzaku froze. Hearing those words from the soft-spoken Nunnally cut through him as if they were a blade. "Nunnally, I-"

"I heard my brother today," the frail girl said instead. "Just after you rescued me. He called my name."

_So I wasn't just imagining it,_ Suzaku thought.

"Are you sure?"

"I could never mistake my brother's voice." Nunnally's voice had gotten so strong with sudden conviction that the Knight of Seven started.

"Nunnally, we were in mid-air over the ocean. There's no way Lelouch could have been there." _Not if he isn't this Zero, that is_.

"I know what I heard," Nunnally replied steadfastly. "He called my name." She paused and looked unseeingly into her lap. "And the sound of his voice broke my heart," she whispered. After a moment, she brought her head back up and turned in Suzaku's direction. "Didn't you hear it, Suzaku-san?"

Suzaku pursed his lips and looked at Nunnally's hopeful face before looking back out the open window. The sun had fallen below the horizon during the span of the meeting. The last rays of daylight were fading into darkness. What should he do? He could lie and say he hadn't, crushing Nunnally's hopes of seeing her brother again and breaking her trust in him to protect the harsh truth… or he could tell her the truth about her brother and quite possibly break her heart once and for all.

Finally, the Knight sighed, mind made up. He turned back to the wheelchair-bound girl with a heavy heart. "I heard it."

Some unknown emotion ran through the girl. "I see."

Suzaku looked at Nunnally, words escaping him. No matter the answer, there would only be pain for her. He wished, not for the first time, that she hadn't volunteered to take the position as Governor of Area 11. While he had sworn to support her, he did not want her to have to deal with the politics of the Empire. He knew many of the politicians saw Nunnally's appointment as an opportunity to seize power behind the scenes, but he would make sure that didn't happen. Nunnally was his responsibility now and he would protect her, no matter what it took.

"Suzaku-san, come over here," Nunnally said quietly and he did as he was bidden. He knelt in front of Nunnally's chair and watched silently as her hands gently touched his face.

"You're Suzaku, and yet, you're not," she mused.

Suzaku blinked. "Nunnally?"

"You're not the same Suzaku we used to know. You've grown harder," the blind girl said. "But I can feel your sadness." Nunnally frowned. "Is it because of Euphie-oneesan?"

Suzaku swallowed. The gentleness of Nunnally's touch was stirring up emotions he had been trying to keep down. But he had already decided he wouldn't lie to her. "Yes."

"I miss her, too," Nunnally said quietly. She brushed his cheek softly, as if to reassure him that things would be alright. "She loved you very much, Suzaku-san."

The Knight felt a lump in his throat. Somehow, Nunnally was breaking down all the barriers he had spent a year creating in a few short moments. "And I loved her very much," he whispered.

"You were Euphie-oneesan's Knight," Nunally said after a moment. Something in her tone had changed but Suzaku couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Will you be mine as well?"

Suzaku stiffened. "Nunnally…"

"Euphie-oneesan had a dream for a place where the Japanese could truly be Japanese." The blind girl's tone was soft but firm. She suddenly sounded capable of handling her political position. "I want to continue that dream of equality. Will you help me, Suzaku-san?"

That protective jolt in Suzaku's chest returned and he nodded resolutely. He _would_ protect her. He had failed Euphie but he would not fail Nunnally. For Euphie's honor, he would continue her dream through Nunnally. He _would_ see their dream come to pass and with the right methods.

"On my honor as the Knight of Seven, I swear to protect you to my last," he said formally. "I am yours to command, Governor Nunnally."

"Thank you," she acknowledged softly, taking his hands into her own. "My first command for you, my Knight, is to answer me honestly."

"Yes?" _I won't lie to you, Nunnally. _

The wheelchair-bound girl paused, suddenly appeared timid. Her voice, however, remained strong. "Is… is my brother Zero?"

Suzaku's heart missed a beat in shock. "Nunally, why…?"

"Your heart is racing," she said in a tiny voice, sounding as frail as she looked. "He is, isn't he?"

The Knight of Seven swallowed. He had given her his oath to be loyal _and_ he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't lie to his childhood friend again. But this was the truth that Suzaku didn't feel was his place to share with her. He knew it would break Nunnally's heart to know her brother was the infamous rebel and he knew it would break Lelouch's heart to know Nunnally knew of his alter ego. But he had sworn…

"The one to call out your name this afternoon was Zero," Suzaku said instead, watching Nunnally's face carefully.

"Then Zero is my brother," Nunnally whispered. Suzaku squeezed her hand to show his support but she didn't squeeze back.

_The proof I needed,_ Suzaku thought before discarding the thought. This wasn't the time for that. He would deal with Lelouch—Zero—later. For now, he needed to be there for Nunnally.

"Are you alright?"

The blind girl looked down in her lap and smiled sadly, surprising the Knight. "I think I've always known."

"Really?"

"The hints have always been there," she said slowly. "I just didn't want to believe it." She turned back to Suzaku. "Is that what happened between you two?"

"Yes," Suzaku said simply, averting his gaze from Nunnally's face. He didn't trust his voice to say much more at the moment. He was still reeling at the fact Nunnally had suspected Lelouch of being Zero.

Nunnally suddenly squeezed his hands in a show of support. "It must be hard for you, Suzaku-san."

"Ah, yes."

"As my Knight, promise me something," the frail girl said quietly. Suzaku looked up at the Governor. "Promise me you'll help me save him."

"Nunnally…"

"Even if not for him, do it for those three children from eight years ago."

Suzaku swallowed. He couldn't refuse her. And as angry as he still was at Lelouch, he would do his duty to the Governor.

"I promise."

--


	2. A Knight's Promise Broken

**Author's Note:** This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but after the events Turn 18, I felt like it needed to be revisited; mostly because I love Suzaku-angst and this was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Spoilers through Turn 19; you've been warned. Leave me a review!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Code Geass, kids. But you knew that.

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A Knight's Promise…

Broken

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Suzaku stood in the massive crater that was once the epicenter of the Tokyo settlement. The Black Knights had long since retreated after the display of power that resulted from the detonation of FLEIJA. All around him was nothing but destruction. The bustling metropolis that was once Tokyo was now a ghost town with millions upon millions dead or wounded. And Suzaku knew that it was all on his head.

Try as he might, Suzaku couldn't recall actually setting off the bomb. The last thing he remembered was realizing he had no chance of beating Kallen in her upgraded Guren, and deciding that he would die rather than use the bomb; that he would die in atonement for his countless sins. The next thing he knew, Tokyo was gone and he knew nothing but FLEIJA could have done that much damage. And Suzaku recognized the symptoms of Lelouch's 'Live' Geass kicking in.

Ironically, Lelouch had ordered Kallen to kill him. He should have known that his own power would force Suzaku to do whatever it took to live on. When Suzaku had warned Lelouch about the warhead the Lancelot harbored, he hadn't been bluffing, after all.

And the 'Live' Geass had kicked in once again a few moments after Suzaku landed the Lancelot to check out the devastation. He was so completely distraught at the destruction and carnage he had caused by using the bomb—knowingly using it or not, he still allowed it to be mounted on his Knightmare in the first place—that he had wanted nothing more than to completely erase his existence.

But of course, Lelouch's command from a year prior wouldn't allow him to take his own life; wouldn't allow him to atone for his sins against his family, against his people, against his friends, and against himself. If Lelouch had wanted him gone before, Nunnally being caught up in the blast would undoubtedly intensify his hatred and feelings of betrayal toward his former best friend.

Nunnally…

Suzaku's chest clenched at the thought of the wheelchair-bound princess. Nunnally had been like a little sister to him since the early days of their acquaintance, and his protective streak for the girl had only grown since they met up again. He wanted to look after her when Lelouch could not—and did not deserve to, he told himself often over the last year. And yet, he had been the one to sign her death warrant by allowing Nina to put FLEIJA on the Lancelot.

As he stared out over the massive hole that was once Tokyo, Suzaku remembered promising Nunnally that he would be the one to protect her. He remembered her asking him to be her knight in Euphie's memory and he remembered, word for word, how he swore to do that for her; for both of them.

"_You were Euphie-oneesan's Knight," Nunally said after a moment. "Will you be mine as well?"_

_Suzaku stiffened. "Nunnally…"_

"_Euphie-oneesan had a dream for a place where the Japanese could truly be Japanese." The blind girl's tone was soft but firm. "I want to continue that dream of equality. Will you help me, Suzaku-san?"_

"_On my honor as the Knight of Seven, I swear to protect you to my last," Suzaku said formally. "I am yours to command, Governor Nunnally."_

Suzaku swallowed painfully. Twice now, the princess that he had sworn to protect to his last had died on his watch. Twice now, a princess that he cared for deeply (if in different ways) had died before her time; taken violently from those that loved her.

He had completely failed as a soldier, as a knight, as a man, and as a human being. And yet, Lelouch's Geass forced him to go on with that on his head. Perhaps that was the greatest punishment that could come down on him, he thought wryly. Death would be an easy way to avoid the guilt and pain that filled his life. Perhaps his ex-best friend would take some modicum of satisfaction in Suzaku's suffering amongst his own.

The Knight of Seven shook his head. No, that wasn't fair to Lelouch, no matter how ridiculous he was being. That wasn't fair to a person who had just lost his entire reason for fighting at that hand of his (former) best friend. Suzaku could imagine how Lelouch must be feeling at the moment and couldn't help but empathize. He felt the loss of Nunnally acutely. It broke his heart, and that heart had yet to mend itself completely from the damage of the previous year. He thought his heart was likely beyond repair this time.

Nunnally had understood Suzaku's pain and helped Suzaku find a reason to fight again. By fighting for Nunnally, he could fight for Euphie's memory because she wanted to honor her sister's plans as well. In the spirit of Euphie—the spirit that inhabited both Nunnally and Euphie that Suzaku had loved and admired in both of them—Nunnally had Suzaku promise to save Lelouch from himself back then.

"_As my Knight, promise me something," the frail girl said quietly. "Promise me you'll help me save him."_

"_Nunnally…"_

"_Even if not for him, do it for those three children from eight years ago."_

_Suzaku swallowed. "I promise."_

Suzaku knew that Euphie would have wanted him to reconcile with Lelouch. That was just the kind of person she was. And he knew that Nunnally wanted the two men she loved to come back together and rekindle the bond they once shared. For that, for them, Suzaku had tried. But his attempt—his meeting with Lelouch—had gone horribly awry as Kanon, on Schneizel's orders, had followed Suzaku and arrested Lelouch, just as Suzaku was finally willing to put aside the past between them, revealing Lelouch to his older brother, the Second Prince. And Lelouch naturally assumed that Suzaku betrayed him, though in truth Suzaku had been just as bewildered at the appearance of their guests as Lelouch had. But he had been unable to verbalize that, and Lelouch was left thinking he had been betrayed by Suzaku yet again.

And now it seemed Suzaku was destined to break yet another promise to someone he cared for. What a despicable person he was.

Standing in the center of the massive damage he had caused, Suzaku had never felt so disgusted with himself.

He stood for hours in the crater that was once the capital city of his people. Even when Jeremiah, of all people, stopped by to thank him for saving his life what seemed like lifetimes ago, the Knight of Seven remained silent. He was too far locked into his despair and self-hatred.

The longer he stood there, the more Suzaku thought about the situation. And it seemed funny in a sick sense. His life seemed like some cosmic joke and he wondered if there was some higher power out there getting a good laugh at his situation. There were so many contradictions and ironies throughout his life, and isn't irony a form of humor, after all?

A particularly violent thought flitted through Suzaku's mind and he felt the force of the 'Live' Geass flare up for a moment until the suicidal thought passed as Suzaku stood frozen, unable to act on it as much as he wanted to. And that was when he realized what the punch line was.

He had to go on living while those he cared about were taken from him. He had to go on living with so much blood on his hands that he would never be able to wash his hands enough to get rid of it. He had to go on living while the ghosts of his past forever haunted him. He had to go on living because his best friend ordered him to and he had killed his sister in return.

That was a pretty damn good joke, Suzaku had to admit.

So he laughed.

--


	3. A Knight's Promise Revisited

**Author's Note:** So, I was pretty pleased with the last chapter and then Turn 21 had to completely turn everything on its head; as a result, yet another chapter that I hadn't originally planned for this story. This is basically my take on the events that took place during the time skip. I won't be surprised if the next episodes completely change things again, so I may write _something _else for this; who knows? Spoilers through Turn 21 (and they are massive). Please review!

**Disclaimer:** Code Geass isn't mine. If it was, it wouldn't have taken this long for Lelouch and Suzaku to team up.

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A Knight's Promise….

Revisited

--

The silence that followed the disappearance of the 98th Emperor of the Britannian Empire, Charles Di Britannia, and the spirit of his wife, Marianne, was heavy. Suzaku stared blankly at the spot that the two had, only moments before, occupied before disappearing; their plans for an unchanging world were gone with them. His mind worked sluggishly to try to make sense of everything that had occurred in the short amount of time since he had entered the World of C with C.C. None of it seemed to make sense, and yet, he was filled with the powerful feeling that everything was about to change; no, that everything had already changed.

He vaguely heard Lelouch ask C.C. an unintelligible question. His mind made no sense of his query or her quiet response.

"And what about you two?" she asked then. Suzaku snapped to attention. "What are you going to do now?" Suzaku and Lelouch turned to the green-haired woman curiously, carefully not looking at each other. "You denied Charles' and Marianne's plan and have chosen reality, chosen the path of advancing time."

Suzaku pursed his lips and finally turned toward Lelouch. Everything he had heard from Lelouch's parents caused him to readily join the side of his one-time best friend. But now that the threat had passed, his old feelings that he had put aside to face the greater danger returned. Things were obviously going to change, but if he was ever going to move forward, he needed a real answer for the wrongs Lelouch had committed against him.

"Yeah, Lelouch is Euphie's murderer," he said, voice barely short of a growl. His hand tightened around the handle of his sword as he hefted it. Light glinted off the blade, but Lelouch paid no attention to the weapon.

Rather, the outcast prince turned to him and looked at him with his unnerving, newly developed double Geass. Though Suzaku knew about the magic of Geass, he would never _not_ be freaked out by it. Every time he saw that distinctive red, he was reminded of that night in the cave when he had unmasked Zero. The visual of the helmet falling from Lelouch's face, his red eye glowing in the dank of the cave would forever be ingrained in his memory; it was one of his most bitter memories, after all.

"What of it?" Lelouch asked coolly.

The two men stared at each other for what could have been an eternity—after all, Suzaku had no idea how the flow of time worked in the World of C—before Suzaku sighed and lowered his blade. He let it go and it clattered to the ground. Lelouch raised a questioning eyebrow and Suzaku frowned.

"What of it?" Suzaku repeated incredulously.

"Don't forget that you betrayed me to Britannia, twice," the darker-haired man accused.

Suzaku managed to stifle a wince at Lelouch's tone, but shook his head. "No."

Lelouch tilted his head. "No? Please, Suzaku, enlighten me as to how those events were _not_ your doing." His voice was dripping with sarcasm that burned Suzaku like acid.

"I brought the wanted criminal Zero to face his well-deserved punishment," Suzaku bit off.

"You betrayed me to gain a position as Knight of Seven," Lelouch growled bitterly.

"Yes, I did." There was no denying that, after all. He brought Lelouch before his father—the man he hated the most and fought to overthrow—and asked for a promotion to the Empire's most elite group of knights in return.

"So you admit that you betrayed me?"

"I did not betray you to Prince Schneizel."

Lelouch looked momentarily stunned before grinding his teeth. "You dictated the terms of the meeting. I came alone. I was arrested. And you didn't say a _word_."

Suzaku bowed his head in frustration. "I should have said something," he agreed. "But I was too surprised. Prince Schneizel ordered Kanon to follow me in hopes of finding Zero. I had no idea they were there."

"Followed you to get to me?" Lelouch repeated, sounding as if he didn't quite comprehend what Suzaku had just told him.

The Knight of Seven gave him a wry, lopsided grin. "Do you really think our connection was hard to miss? From the moment I was revealed as the Lancelot's pilot, you tried to recruit me instead of kill me. Hell, you saved me from execution after they accused me of murdering Prince Clovis."

Lelouch seemed to be fighting his own wry smile, but he lost the battle. "I suppose I was a bit obvious about that."

"Exactly."

Lelouch seemed to ponder Suzaku's words before sighing. "I suppose… I can understand."

Suzaku nodded to himself. The fact that Lelouch thought he had betrayed him to Schneizel ate away at him. If he was going to get the blame for doing something to Zero, he wanted it to be something he actually did, at least.

The two fell into an awkward silence. C.C. watched on in apparent disinterest, though it was obvious to both parties that she was following the conversation closely. She told Suzaku that she prioritized Lelouch's survival among all else so he could grant her wish to die. He supposed that if he became an apparent threat to Lelouch, C.C. wouldn't hesitate to act in his defense.

Finally, Lelouch broke the silence. "Did you mean what you said… right before our meeting was interrupted?" Suzaku looked at Lelouch curiously, waiting for him to elaborate. "That you were willing to join with me to stop the war," he clarified.

Remembering the exchange well—more bitter memories—Suzaku nodded. "The world Euphie and Nunnally wanted was a peaceful world. The world I want to protect is a peaceful world, without constant fighting and discrimination."

"That is the type of world I wanted for Nunnally to open her eyes to," Lelouch said quietly, looking away. "But now…"

Suzaku felt as if Lelouch had punched him in the stomach. He had been the one to set off the means of Nunnally's death, after all. Though he had only done it under the sway of Lelouch's 'Live' Geass, he had allowed FLEIJA to be placed on the Lancelot in the first place. Though he never intended to use it, he had been reckless and countless people had died as a result.

But Lelouch didn't say that. Suzaku almost wished he would, just to hear his former friend's anger toward him that must have been there. He killed his sister, after all. But Lelouch didn't look angry; only sad and lonely.

And Suzaku was suddenly struck by the last words Shirley had said to him before her murder:

"_What's this important business you need to talk to me about?" Suzaku asked. It was rare for Shirley to call him, of all people, just to talk._

"_I… I like Lulu," she replied. "Suzaku, do you hate him?"_

_Suzaku frowned. "I… liked him."_

"_And now?" Suzaku remained silent so Shirley continued, turning sideways toward the expanse of grass outside the train station. "I thought it was weird. You guys bonded so well before. Did you guys have a fight?"_

Something like that,_ Suzaku thought bitterly. "I can't forgive him," he replied instead._ Not after everything he's done.

"_Nothing's unforgivable," Shirley told him, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "It must be that you're the one who can't forgive him. You don't want to forgive him." Suzaku blinked in surprise as Shirley turned to face him once more. "I've forgiven him a long time ago," she said with a smile._

For the longest time, Suzaku struggled with those words. Did he really not want to forgive Lelouch? Was it possible to forgive him for killing the woman he loved? If Shirley had forgiven him, why couldn't Suzaku? They had been best friends once, after all.

And Lelouch's pain at the words of his parents only a short time before stuck out him. He had been so willing to come to Lelouch's aid if anything were to go wrong, and yet…

It felt natural to be at Lelouch's side. Those few times they had sided together, it felt like they could accomplish anything; Lelouch had said as much, though Suzaku always considered it to be the former's ego taking hold. But standing at Lelouch's right against the misguided goals of his parents had felt so natural to Suzaku; like he should have been there all along.

Suzaku looked at Lelouch. Perhaps… perhaps he should have been at Lelouch's side all along. There was no way to change the past—especially since they had prevented Marianne and Charles from stopping the world's natural progression—but the future remained.

"Lelouch," Suzaku said at long last and the dark-haired man looked up at him, his eyes glowing that disconcerting red, "what do you think would have happened if we had been on the same side from the beginning?"

"If you had joined me the first time I asked?" Suzaku nodded, the memory of walking away from Zero for the first time still clear in his mind's eye, and Lelouch shrugged. "I think we would have won." He smiled slightly. "I've told you, with the two of us together, there's nothing we can't do." And his smile slipped as the events of the last year and some time flashed before his eyes.

The same events ran through Suzaku's eyes and they were both left to wonder, what if…

_What if I were to forgive him?_ Suzaku thought. _Euphie was the type of person to forgive. She was happy to hear that Lelouch and I were friends. Her heart was so full of love that I doubt she could have hated anyone, even if she wanted to._

_And Zero, Lelouch, took that away from me… from the world._

_But…_

"The last thing Shirley said to me before, well, you know," Suzaku said awkwardly, and saw a flash of pain cross Lelouch's face at whatever memory he had of her death, "was that nothing is unforgivable. She told me that the reason I couldn't forgive you was because I didn't want to." Suzaku paused to gather his words and his courage. He was suddenly struck by how right the words that he was saying were and that helped him to keep going. "And, I think she was right."

"Suzaku…"

"You were my best friend once, Lelouch. And I loved Euphie very much. She was my princess and everything to me. She accepted me, believed in me, when no one else would. But you took her away from me—from the world and the people that she loved—after using your Geass on her.

"I held her hand as she died, you know. And that killed me inside. It still does, every day." Suzaku paused to swallow against the painful feelings in his chest and Lelouch looked on stoically, though Suzaku recognized his posture as uncomfortable.

"It kills me every day that I won't ever hear her voice again," the Knight of Seven continued. "And it hurts so much that I never wanted to forgive you for all the pain I have to deal with every day; because it's easier to blame you than face my feelings."

Lelouch opened his mouth but no sound came out, apparently feeling that he needed to say something but was, for once, at a loss for words.

Suzaku shook his head. "Let me finish. I don't know if I can do this again. I'm not strong, Lelouch. But I made Nunnally a promise that I would help save you. And I think the only way that I can keep that promise to her is to finally forgive you."

Lelouch looked flabbergasted at Suzaku's words but quickly recovered.

However, it was C.C. who spoke before either man could make a comment. "That still doesn't answer my question. What will you two do?"

Suzaku and Lelouch exchanged looks. For once, they were on the exact same page. They wanted the same thing and they would go about it together. They were a force to be reckoned with when they worked together, after all. With them together, the world didn't stand a chance. But the world must be dealt with in smaller, intermittent steps.

Lelouch smiled. "First, we take Britannia."

--


End file.
